First week vacances and Carnivale

The kids finished up their swim lessons - they had lots of fun and, although I doubt they learned much in the way of improving their swimming prowess, they did get a chance to hang out with peers, practice their French and jump off the racing platforms into the pool. For Callie, this was very good since she tends to get frightened to jump into deep water, even if I am there for her. She says she remembers Zander almost drowning two summers ago and gets too scared. I try to explain to her, this is WHY we want you to learn to swim - so you won't almost drown - but it hasn't really helped. Well, with the addition of peer pressure, she jumped in with no adult at all, first with a kickboard and then with nothing. Hooray! Zander, never afraid despite his brush with death, even tried a few dives, which was fun to watch. Griffin spent time with me, making sticker pictures and necklaces, he handled not being able to swim very well. I heard from the American group that you can get more 'american' swimming lessons at a different pool - but, of course, you need a car to get there. We may do these again, anyway or maybe try ice skating lessons - offered in the same complex - this would be maybe better for them since they are true beginners on ice skates. Yes, I did go have my pity party with the kids on Wednesday afternoon. We stopped at a park to play on the way, as you can see. They seem like a very nice group. One of the women is married to a professional basketball player who plays for the Besancon team - she has moved to 5 cities in 5 years (they get traded, a lot) and it sounds like a terribly stressful affair - August to May in one city - May to August back with family in the US and then back in another city. She says she still hasn't learned French in her 5 years here - since she mostly is with other basketball wives. Her daughter Kaylie, translates for her! She told me where to get everything american that can be bought here - including, rumor has it, sharp cheddar cheese - must go check that out. We may go out to see a game March 14th with the group and then all go to dinner or something.

So what else.... I spent lots of time packing and sewing on Callie's carnivale costume, transforming a 3T bunny costume into a unicorn that will fit a 6 year old. Also, I made my first skirt. Chanelling the wonderful creativity of my Grandma (who never used a pattern) and the knowledge that wool, when cut, doesn't fray, helped Callie create a lovely green skirt with knotted fringe and button. I have been trying to get Zander interested in the patterns that Grammie sent him for Noel for some time now, but he doesn't seem interested in following directions (suprised?) and wants to make something more like, a 3 piece suit. Well, when I explain that such an item is far beyond my ability to help him, he gives up. This is a pattern with Zander - he gets frustrated when reality can't match his visions and often gives up. He spent tons of time, instead, playing trains with his brother. We went and ate lunch with daddie at work one day - he and his co-workers go to a cafeteria type place on the days they don't go home for lunch. I had been curious about it and wanted to give it a try. Well, the food was pretty good and they were very kind to Griffin - grilling him his own personal (gluten free) steak (not on the menu). Of course, with the kids, we were a bit slow arriving and getting our food. By the time we sat down and started to eat, the other 4 co-workers were almost done. They stayed, however, until we were all done eating - they always do this in France at meals, even if you are in the cafeteria! It's very polite, but also seems a bit annoying for them. I was happy that one day the kids spent the afternoon playing out in the front with the other neighborhood kids. It is pretty easy for Callie to communicate with the other kids and she will help Zander (sometimes!). Griffin just kicks a ball or rides around on his little plastic truck. The kids all know each other and some of the neighbors are very familiar - Danah - a 10 year old - will be cat sitting again for us this week. We have also found a great babysitter, Natalie, who watched the kids for us on Wednesday night so we could go see Slumdog Millionaire (which we loved) we also walked around a bit in the local market and saw this cheese shop - named Le Trou de Souris or The Mouse Hole - reminded me of when my dad used to get us cheese from The Field Mouse Cheese Shop in Ringwood - so yum!

Now, on to the main event- Carnivale! I was very excited for this to come, I made Callie's costume and helped assemble and adjust Zander and Griffin's as well. I will just summarize and let the pictures do the talking. Basically, all the kids got dressed up and we gathered at the local community center (or maison du quartier). They are pictured here with Chinese princess Noemi, one of Zanders classmates, who also took swim class with them. Each child got a helium balloon labeled with their name and then we all marched over to the local senior center to show off the cuties. There was a wonderful variety of costumes - I especially liked the way not every young woman was a princess (as seems to happen a lot in the US) Most of the costumes were store bought - but there was on amazing Mickey Mouse and of course, Callie, Griffin and Zander all looked terrific (no, I'm not biased). After the kids got their balloons, we all paraded about 1/2 a mile down the road. There were an incredible amount of people in attendance including several of Zander and Callie and Griffin's classmates, which made the parade fun. It was also fun because they gave out large bags of colorful confetti to all the children to toss around at each other. Total mayhem. Finally we made it to the parking lot across the street from our apartment and everyone who hadn't accidentally lost their balloon already (Griffin) released them simultaneously. Then there was more confetti (where did it all come from???) and they tossed candy out to the masses. It may look like Griffin is covered in confetti - but, as you can see, it was minor compared to the state of the ground. All in all, I'd say it was tons of fun for the kids but at the same time I was like... it's over?? Yup - that was it - it took about an hour total. I have to say, I was a bit bummed, this is what they do instead of Halloween? I'm trying not to judge too much (hah hah!) - apparantly this is not the 'official' thing - there is also a parade in Centre Ville in a few weeks. Why this does not happen on Fat Tuesday?? (Isn't it supposed to signify the beginning of Lent?) Well, apparantly this is yet another French celebration that is religious in the US but seen as a totally secular holiday here and so it goes on later into the season. Okaaaaaaaay guys! If you say so!

Roller Coaster

So my life is having lots of ups and downs, as usual - hope you are ready for another meandering wander through my brain.

Up, up and away.... On Friday - I got a call from an American living in Besancon - I am meeting with her and another few English speakers this Wednesday. It is strange - I feel like a child, or just a pity case. People take a look at me and say, hey, she needs to have a play date - let's invite her over to our house! In the past, at least as an adult, I've always met people through my volunteer activities or the gym or at work etc... I think as a kid, I met my mom's friends kids, the kids from my classes and on my teams. Here I feel like I am nothing and no one, except the mom of three - and who does that hook me up with??? Perhaps the play date method is the way it works when you can't speak the language. Or, perhaps this is just the way it happens in France? It seems much more stressful this way - what to wear, what to say, oh no, what if they don't like me one bit??? But I am VERY happy to at least have the chance to bomb and the hostess hails from Wisconsin, where also lives one of my dearest friends, so that is always a good omen.

Down, down that steep hill.... went to my second riding class Friday evening. Alone, this time. I really enjoyed the class last week and was looking forward to it. But the level of independence they expect from me at this school is quite shocking. This week I was only told the name of my horse. I had to groom, saddle and bridle him on my own (which I can sort of do, but, no one ever checked my girth - or ANYTHING before I hopped on the horse, which seemed odd to me - how do they know that I know what the hell I'm doing?) Then, of course, there was the lesson. It was incredibly challenging for many reasons. First, I had a more normal horse (last week they gave me the autopilot model, used safely by first timers everywhere). Second, I am just not used to English saddle/reins and, most especially, the little whippy thing they want me to use. Third, I can't understand the language! I don't know why this wasn't a bigger problem last time, perhaps André's presence in the viewing area somehow reached me osmotically? Well this week I was really struggling. The instructor (who seems to be quite excellent, by the way, despite Andre's fears) is really trying to get us to control our horses, find our seat etc... and keeps asking us for more and more complicated actions on the horse, which I simply can't follow and keep screwing up. This is frustrating not only because it makes me look like a big fool (which isn't the most fun) but also because it is impinging upon my ability to learn. I am a very coachable person - but not a natural athletic type. I need the instructions to get better! At the end he had me galloping around the ring (again with no stirrups) and I almost got tossed off a few times because I can't really control the little whippy stick and it kept whacking the horse who was (understandably) pissed off by that. How embarrassing! Then they left me to unsaddle and unbridle and blanketize my horse (again completely on my own) and I took the bus home, discouraged, but determined to return.

Again on the upswing was Saturday morning, we finally found a yoga class for me - it is only one morning per week - and won't start until after the vacances, but I am still very excited to have a chance to do some yoga again. After going to the yoga office, André led us to a local park we hadn't visited yet and the kids spent about an hour playing around. Zander made a lovely ice and dirt cake to share with a little local girl that was also there. I was really proud of him because he spoke in French to the little girl and to her grandmother. Meanwhile Griffin walked around a lot and Callie made several arrangements of twigs, pine cones and leaves that strongly reminded me of ikebana (Japanese flower arrangement). Most of the snow has melted now and we are getting more temperate weather. It was fun to be able to sit on a bench and soak up some sun. André, of course, was only wearing his thin leather jacket and got cold.

In the afternoon we went to Luna Park - a carnizaar type thing being held in the local exhibit hall for the duration of the vacances. I had saved some money but I wasn't sure what to expect -

in the US these types of things are highway robbery. Well, let me tell you folks, France is the place to go to have fun at the fair. All the rides were only 1 Euro and there were lots and lots of them. Also, they seem to realize that each ride should last longer than 35 seconds. I actually had time to get bored waiting for the kids to finish riding around on their little plasticine swings. Perhaps the reason for the reduced prices is the obvious lack of concern for personal safety. People were hanging out of cars, walking next to speedy vehicles and I didn't see any inspection stickers anywhere. I would guess the liability insurance these guys have to pay is quite a bit lower than our own. There was one loop-de-loop, though - the bumper cars. I think this tip should be added to all French guide books everywhere. For your own safety, travelers, please refrain from riding on bumper cars unless you plan on not bumping into anyone, ever. At least, not anyone who isn't already part of your entourage. Bumping other people in bumper cars, apparently, is incredibly rude. And, I might add, dangerous, as the offended person gets some serious bumper car road rage (regular road rage doesn't seem to exist here, so I guess they grabbed their chance when it appeared). A French person accidentally broke this unwritten rule (can you believe she bumped into André, in a bumper car?) and actually apologized, profusely. Well, after that particular dose of daily culture shock wore off (as well as the whiplash) we went on to enjoy trampolines and trains and a cool roller coaster that went fowards and backwards and we never had to tell the kids, sorry, we can't afford another ride..... (bliss). We even had enough money left over to get everyone (for the first time ever) their own barbe a papa (in the past we always shared one amongst the five of us). For those of you with a little linguistic knowledge I will confirm, yes, barbe a papa does mean daddy's beard. Um.... yuck - who wants to eat that? (OK, I know cotton doesn't sound all that appetizing either, but definitely nowhere near as gross as facial hair). The cotton candy shown here is the small size - there was also a famille and a 'super geant'. Since, as you can see, the small is over twice the size of Griffin's head, I can't imagine how big the 5 Euro super geant would have been. It was simply a great time.

And then, there came the swimming lessons. These started this morning at 9am. I signed the kids up for them not only because I want them to learn to swim better but also to give us something to do each morning during the vacances. I figured they'd have their lesson, then we'd all swim together for a bit and head home for a late lunch and shortened afternoon. I have been pumping up how amazingly fun this is going to be to them for about 2 weeks. Well, ixnay on that anplay! Turns out, Griffin and I aren't allowed in the pool at all (try explaining that to him) and the kids have to leave right after their lesson to make room for the next group. The exception is on Wednesday, when we can stay and play a bit longer.

Well, OK, I can deal with that. Griffin (happily bribed by a vending machine chocolate bar - bad mom, I know), Griffin and I get to watch the lesson from a viewing area above. (French like these remote viewing areas, I've noticed) The kids are very far away - hard to even distinguish one from another. There are about 20 kids between 6 and 10 years old, and 4 instructors - it is a 45 minute lesson. First, they have them all jump into the pool and see if they are scared of water. Only about 8 of them are - they go in the 'kiddie' area with one instructor and mine go with the other dozen kids to the bigger pool - this takes the first 15 minutes. They each get a noodle and then spend about 20 of the next 30 minutes waiting on line. C and Z get in the water a total of about 6 times. 4 times of these they are swimming on their back, with the noodle to support their little heads. Huh, well, they can both already swim on their back without a noodle at all. The other two times they took them where the water is deeper and, I kid you not, stuck a metal pole into the deep water which the children were supposed to slide down, firefighter style. Well, my kids would have been just fine simply jumping into the water and swimming to the edge and Zander had no problem with the pole - although I think they got a bit worried when he swam around at the bottom of the pool for a few minutes before coming up but it scared Callie a bit. Then, um, that was it, they got their towels and went back in and I collected them for the ride home. Callie is pretty happy since she got to socialize with Noemi and the other kids. Zander is pissed, he wanted to swim and this was not swimming. It took me weeks of prep to get him psyched for this class as he fears anything new, now the rest of the week is sure to be a bit of a struggle. Oh, and wait, there's more, I can't believe I forgot to mention this part. Remember the 4 instructors? None of them ever got wet. None of them even had a bathing suit on. No demos, no examples.... nothing. I just couldn't get over this and asked Noemi's mom, Alina about it. Oh, that's the way they do it in France. That's how she learned and she learned great. It must be true as over in the other lanes were a bunch of tweens and teens doing steady and gorgeous crawl, backstroke and even butterfly. But, I just can't really believe it. I suspect they must have had private tutors.

Well, tomorrow is another day!

Zander's Blog

The following was transcribed as Zander spoke, so it is as authentic as I could manage - he talks fast! Zander said:

So, my bed has been pretty cold to sleep in, but I still can sleep. These nights I have been sleeping in and I wake up in the middle of the night 'cause of Callie - she wants me to let her do some stuff to play 'cause in the night, she says that she gets bored. All my animals, I care about them, and I sometimes make little houses with them. And, do you see that toilet paper roll in my pile? That's because I get snuffy alot.

This is my special place. I found it at the thrift store, and I said "Mom, could I get this?" and she said "yes" and I said, "could I get it today?" and she said "no" - but day after day we were getting furniture, like mommie and daddie's cabinet and their wooden furniture. Then, finally I got mine and Callie got a little doggie one. I have 2 special places and Callie has 3. Well, this little lock, you would think you would be able to get a lock and put it so it goes through but it doesn't.

Well, in my special place I have 285 marbles in a box and I have my paper box (that red one) and in that parachute I have a dog and in that yellowish looking plastic bag is my telescope and binoculars and a monocular. In our family, if you have a special place, you put your special things in there and no one else can take it BUT if someone else takes something the person who owns it takes it from them when they are taking it out to play with - they are NOT allowed to do that, if you know it's theirs.

This is what looks like a big pile of snow, but it is actually a football field, which is made of fake grass. Do you know when mom and dad blogged about the bat flying around eating the bugs? This is the same field. And even in the snow they go soccering here. The strange thing is that Callie and Griffin have to walk past it every day on the way to school because their school is on the other side of it and there is something amazing about this field. Underneath the field is actually a train tunnel! How do you know that it is there? There is NO way - actually you can't tell that it is under there at all. And we, Callie, Zander, Griffin and Mama and Dada have been there, in the train tunnel.

Well, this is Mama and Daddie at Smith playhouse camp and they are on the spinny which goes very fast. Some kids can't stay on it - Mama has to cling on it when Daddie pushes her. Well, I like it but sometimes you can't do it if no one can start you. A lot of the time I only liked it if there were two people on it - one could be here and one could be there. Well, I went to Smith Playhouse Camp and I had a teacher and she brang to my place a jewelry necklace thing - and I made Grammie a necklace, which Grammie weared, but I accidentally dropped it and it broke, one bead. This picture is in Mommie and Daddie's room on their dresser.

This is Griffin running around, trying to not get caught by a camera flash. I thought that was a pretty hard game to try to get a picture of him. So I tried to do it and get him, plus, I did the same with the cat. Well Griffin is screaming as he's doing it, like "AAHAAA, AHHHAAA" and he's shutting a door, which there is another picture and all you can see is a door with a little light. He has this necklace that he says is only for the night - but he's been wearing it all day -so I don't think it is an only a night necklace. And, do you see him running like that? I got a picture of only his hair because he was running like that - which was not too good. I got a lot of pictures that were not too good.
He said "AAAAAAA" and then he shuts the door and he pees in his pants and then he gets undressed so his legs are all naked and he's walking down the steps and then he is walking down the steps and he has no pants on and then he comes up with new pants on and starts running around again - then I try taking pictures of the cat.
I think he thinks I'm still playing this game, which I don't think I am.

This is Simone, standing on the stairs, and she's looking at me like "What is he doing?" So then I take a picture of her, and then she runs under the bed, and so I take a picture of her underneath there and then she comes out again - and then she goes in the living room. And I take pictures of her on the rug and plus I take one of her walking away out of the room. Simone is not allowed in the living room because she scratches the couches, but I thought it would be good to take some pictures of her on the rug.

This is Callie, starting to make dinner for our whole family today - she got chips, some juice and some pasta and some cheese and some lines of cheese and some cheesy bacon sauce and tomatoes and a treat and it was delicious. And this is Callie behind all of our family, and if you look very closely you can see it a bit, on the one persons family - if you imagine you can just see them but it is hard to tell who they are. Grammie can tell about the family she knows, but the Petersons can tell who they know. But we can tell them all. It is very small, but we can see them a lot better because they are on our door. If they were real sized, they would be too big for the blog.

This is a humungous train track that me and Daddie built - but I built on it more. That black line is actually the Polar Express. It's hard to get the whole track - In a different blog I can show you more. This gray thing is a Cardboard Castle that I put a little lego wall between it. The pink castle is Callie's castle for her princesses - I made it into another wall for the castles. Then, you see that green pile on the side? Daddie made it into another wall but Mom knocked it down. It actually has barely any walls, compared to the Citadel. Well, we have some lego soldiers and if you look on the side near the green part, it is actually part of the train track - the black line again is actually another train on the track. It is actually the breakdown train.

This is a recipe momma made that she found in a magazine that we ate twice. The person who made it said that her kids liked it. And everyone did, except for Griffin until we said it was pink soup. The second time we had it he said, "I don't like pumkin soup." and then, "I don't like tomato soup" and then Mama said, "No, I made tomato soup for Callie and Zander and I made pink soup for you, Griffin" Oh, then he liked it. That worked because pink is his favorite color - and we dipped grilled cheese in it which is strange.
I took all the pictures of this and I liked making it with my mom. I miss everybody. Love, Zander

long run to chappelle de buis

Last Sunday I went for a long run that was quite beautiful... I've decided to stop blogging here about most of my runs except for the scenic routes, and at this time of the year that means weekend runs since my normal 5:30 runs are too dark to see anything. Well, because of our hike on Saturday I really wanted to get a look at a ridge line that seems higher than any of the hills I've climbed so far, and so I also decided to bring the good camera along. I started from our house with a descent to theDoubs and this beautiful old train bridge:

The bridge was right at the bottom of the citadel:

From there I continued upriver to go through this arch:

...and then I scooped up behind the citadel on a steep switchback road that was covered in ice. It was hard to keep moving up, it was so slippery. I had looked at a map before I went out and identified a dead-end road that looked promising for seeking the highest point on the ridge. This led me along farm roads and then turned into a footpath. I think that this entrance is an old arsenal... but it was too dark to go inside and I was on a run, anyway.

Next I emerged from the forest to find this pretty little church building amongst a tiny village. I got great views from the church parking lot.

Then I headed to a scenic overlook, but I didn't get any good pictures at that spot. Now it was time to run downhill! I found this old roman road, but it didn't look passable at this time of year,

then I got some more views of the citadel. At the bottom I hit the beautiful Doubs, before heading back up through our residental (and not as picture-worthy) neighborhood. All in all, it was a 2-hour run. I have no idea if I ran a decent pace, since so much of the terrain was icy or uphill or downhill, but I felt pretty good on the run. I also really enjoy the exploration!

Psychos, subs, sexism, sledding and sobbing....

Well, Zander has been a real delight lately (as you may have gathered) and on Tuesday he came home extremely unhappy. I was unable to figure out why until he had already physically attacked me, his sister and his brother, thrown his glasses (losing a lens) and tried to break our glass door. I finally ended up holding him down for about 15 minutes until he promised to stop being destructive.

I find this incredibly frustrating since I haven't had to hold him down like that since probably the first week we were here and before that it had been months and months, and also since such attention is completely counterproductive. I mean, let's face it, when I am holding him down I can't really give attention to the other munchkins, can I? Of course, I tried to and actually did hold down a conversation with Callie and Griffin about their days at school, attempting to ignore, as much as possible the writhing scratching spitting creature trapped beneath me. Here is something I never knew I would be doing as a parent - talking about art projects and wrestling simultaneously!

The ironic thing is that I would also classify Zander as my most thoughtful and considerate of our bunch. Here he is holding a little tree he created for Griffin. The other day he made Callie a little picture just for her and he is always the one who wants to send pictures and cards to Grammie and Grandpa and mentions missing Lina and Livi (his cousins) all the time. He will be extra quiet when someone is napping and, for our last anniversary, convinced the other two to let Andre' and I sleep in for about an hour while he engineered breakfast and entertainment. His teachers always say he is the kindest of all the boys in the class. He has been through counseling, we've read every book around, we try to manage his behavior in a consistent, expertly reccomended fasion. Where does all this rage come from?

Once he finally calmed down, the tears started and I discovered he had been cursed with, oh horror of horrors, a substitute that morning at school. And, not just any substitute either. (He has experienced a sub in France one other time) But this one, this was a really, really, really mean substitute. She wouldn't speak English to him at all, or help him understand, and if he didn't do his work, she would put him in time out, AND if he tried to ask one of his friends for help to understand what his work was - she put him in time out. Apparantly, she put the whole class in time out at one time or another - "even if you just breathed too much or, like, wiggled your legs."

Now, I realize of course, how stressful and hard this must have been for him. Imagine being told what to do, not understanding what you are told, and then being punished for not following instructions! He prides himself on his extremely good behavior in school - he always does his best, and she wouldn't cut him even a tiny break. Throughout all this crushing unfairness, he still tried his best, went to time out quietly when the teacher asked and behaved himself. That's worth something.

But I guess he used up all his reserves by the time he got home and an explosion was inevitable. I DID forget to ask him if anything bad had happened that morning when I first picked him up - a measure that we put in place long ago to help him to remember to tell me what was bothering him. So, really, it is my fault, right? I told him I really didn't like having to hold him down like that. His response? "Well, but Mom, sometimes you just have to!" How comforting - to know I have to do such things.

Then, of course, he did not want to return to school that afternoon. "She is so mean and unfair, Mom!" I have to be honest, I half wanted to let him stay home, I mean, what is he learning? IF he had told me first off, without almost killing his siblings and me, about this crazy sub, I probably would have let him stay for the afternoon - but I never want to reward such bad behavior. So I tried to remind him of something I've told him numerous times in the past - sometimes life isn't fair - and sometimes you just have to deal with things not going your way. Well, his response to that was to crawl under the kitchen table and cry - along with flat out refusing to go to school. (At least he didn't attack anyone or break anything, and the fact that he was crying meant he was getting his feelings out - which is good). It took me another 15-20 minutes to convince him to come and get ready to go. By this time, of course, we were all incredibly late - which is super duper frowned upon in France.

I knew he would have a tough afternoon so I brought the sleds along with me for pick up so he could ride out some of that frustration down a hill before coming home and possibly committing hari kari.... Unfortunately, the other moms did not want to go sledding and a few of the kids had a hard time (understandably) passing us by as we sledded merrily down the hill. Tebo - who seems to be almost preternaturally obedient, turned around immediately and rejoined his mom when she called him while Noemi was, shall we say, a bit reluctant. Her mom agreed to let her go for one ride with Zander and then she was dawdling etc... and not wanting to come back up the hill. Her mother, getting frustrated, said "She is difficult!" and I said, pointing to Zander: "Oh yes, so is Zander" Her response - "Oh, but he is a boy...Noemi is a girl - she is supposed to be nice". Ummmm.... am I trapped in a Leave it to Beaver episode or something? I tried to explain that she couldn't really say that in the US, that we think some boys are stubborn and some girls are stubborn and some boys are 'easy' and some girls are 'easy'. Kids all have their own personalities and temperments. (Of course, my ability to express this in French was, to say the least, limited) I pointed Griffin out as an example of an easy-going little fellow. Well, I guess I thought this might make her feel better or something, but she just didn't get it. Noemi is a girl, she repeated, she is supposed to be gentle. I have found the level of gender roles here to be extremely annoying. Callie plays running games outside with her friends almost every day. Their favorite is Loup (wolf). In this game the boys are the chasseures (hunters) with guns and the loups (wolves) are the girls - they run away from the chasseures. Another game is pirate - the boys are pirates and the girls are 'the girls that the pirates are chasing'. Callie has told me, straight out: "I can run faster than all the boys, Mom, but I just go slow so they can catch me - then they won't feel bad." OK - I thought acting like a weak female to feed male egos was a stage that wouldn't arrive until she was a teenager - or hopefully never! They discipline boys and girls differently too. In the preschool, if girls hit, or don't share it is frowned upon but if boys do, that is just them being boys. Griffin says: "I don't like boys, the boys are mean." Mom: "What do they do?" Griffin: "They hit me and they take things. That's why I only like girls, the girls are nice." Mom: "But what about you Griffin. Are you a boy?" Griffin: "Oh yes, I'm a nice boy." Similar in Zander's school - lately he has been trying the physical play a bit on the playground. Noemi will literally tackle him and hurt him, with no consequence at all. If he retaliates against her, though, he gets in big trouble but he can roughhouse with the boys and it is not a problem. If he complains one of the boys is hurting him, there is no consequence for that boy (unless they are much bigger or something). It just seems to get worse as they are older. I pass the soccer field near our house and the boys and girls (tween age) are gender split into two teams for soccer. The boys are awesome, running, passing, dribbling etc... They are covering 2/3rds of the field. The girls, giggling and falling over, are relegated to the remaining third - and are mostly not even trying. I did see a few excellent young women playing - but they were tossed in with the boys. Really, really makes me want to scream. I was talking to someone about how the kids fight here and they said: ''Oh, well you can't go through life without learning to fight.'' "Oh really?" was my logical response, 'Well, I've never been in a physical fight." Then without skipping a beat he said: "Oh, but you are a girl." My response? "Oh, and you are a sexist!" (Yes, I literally did say that - guess my tact gene is missing - how suprising since according to the French I should be a 'nice' girl)

Well, as a consolation prize to the dissappointed friends, the moms invited us to sled with them the following afternoon. It was another lovely Wednesday and we spent the morning hanging at home and in the afternoon while Callie went to another birthday party (ride courtesy of another nice mom) Zander, Griffin and I joined Tebo's family for some luge. There is a hill behind the apartment complex I never knew was there. The snow stopped falling Monday and it got a bit warm on Tuesday, making tons of fun slush. By Wednesday it had all frozen to solid ice. This hill was steep, and, basically covered in a sheet of ice. It seems that it is part of a farmer's field or something as there is a barbed wire fence surrounding it - well, we just slithered right under that little barricade. It seems the French don't really mind trespassing.

It was actually great fun - super fast and super slippery. Griffin and I went down together a bunch of times and Zander was going on his own or with his friends. One strange thing about French sledding - there is no unwritten up and down protocol. In the US, my experience has always been - you walk up one side and slide down another spot. Here in France, whereever we have sledded, it is perfectly fine to simply walk right up where you just sledded down - and to sled down merrily right next to people struggling up the hill, often knocking them down. Makes me crazy. I try to convince mine to walk to the side anyway. Well, Zander was getting bored, I suppose so he decided to try going down on his belly and flipped over, planting face first into the ice. I saw it happen and ran over. Luckily he was not seriously hurt, but, not so luckily he lost his glasses and we couldn't find the lens that popped out anywhere. Poor guy!

Thursday was the day the terrific Isabelle was taking me to a coffee with some other ladies, all of whom, supposedly were transplanted Americans or married to transplanted Americans. I was very excited to finally be meeting some new potential friends. There were about 8 people there in all and one of them was another new Bisontin who has 4 children. She spoke no English or perhaps just very little and so everyone started out speaking in French. In fact, it turned out that except when I spoke and when one person asked me a question, everyone spoke in French the whole time. Isabelle was wonderful, translating for me and trying to help me out, but it was very frustrating for me as I couldn't really understand what was going on, get the jokes etc.... and also because I thought people would be speaking in English since they wanted to meet me or something. (Silly me, I know, I know - earth to Rebecca this is france - get used to it!) I did bring a zucchini cake and that was a big hit and it was fun to get out of the house - but I really didn't get a chance to connect with anyone new.

I got home just in time to pick up the kids for lunch - on the way home Tebo and Zander were playing and Tebo pushed Zander a bit too hard at the top of a hill knocking Zander down and hurting his feelings. So, did he push Tebo back or tell Tebo he was mad? No, both of those reactions would make sense. He (being Zander) decided to hurl himself, rolling, down the rest of the hill and then lay, crying, at the bottom holding his ankle. Oh man, these are the times I HATE being mom - Oh how I wished to not be the one to have to go down there. But, of course I did, falling over in the mud, cutting my hand and trashing my jeans and jacket. Noemi, ever proving she is no typical 'nice' girl, started laughing and pointing at the sorry scene I made. I crawled over to Zander, helped him up and we made it home. I only burst into tears once we got into the door. Sometimes, it is all just too much for me. Sometimes it is all just too hard. Whose job is it to run down that hill and nurse me?

Today starts the 2 week February vacation. Hopefully Zander will be happy to have a break from the stresses of school. His teacher told me the other day "It's a miracle - he is trying to speak in French!" Let's hope this break doesn't result in a backslide! I may not have time to blog for awhile as I will be taking care of the kids 24/7, we will have swimming lessons and carnivale next week and then we will be vacationing in Belgium the week after - I hope that I will do better than I did last vacation - it took me forever to catch up!